Do you ever remember a time being late to a meeting, class, or appointment and being met with a reprimand? Many of us do. And while being late isn't praiseworthy, think about how it made you feel. It makes people feel unwelcome in that space. Instead saying something like "Oh, I'm so glad you're able to join us today," creates a sense of belonging and praises the desired behavior - showing up.
This is an example of positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is when we encourage desired behavior by providing praise or another reward. It's a highly effective tool that we frequently implement here at SISD. It can be a positive comment, a star/token chart, giving a thumbs up, or a special activity.
By encouraging the desired behavior (raising hands to participate, sitting in seat, brushing teeth, etc.) we make it more likely to happen again. And positive reinforcement isn't just beneficial for children. Studies have shown that the use of positive praise instead of criticism leads to an increase in positive affect and well-being, both in children and their parents.
Some phrases that might be worth trying out at home:
- Wow, I love how patiently you're waiting.
- Thank you for being so respectful.
- I really care about you and I'll wait until we can both have this conversation calmly.
- I'm so impressed with how you've been ready for school on time this week.
- I'm so proud of how you used your words to tell me how you feel.